Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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