Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
