she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize