My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize