I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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