@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
