I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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