Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
