I wish I only lived at night.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
