dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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