And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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