I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.