awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.