we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
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had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
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From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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