you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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