Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
