u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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