That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
