I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
