I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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