If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
