Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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