So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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