went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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