This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
