So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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