he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
