I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
