I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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