Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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