the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
