You work out of a Hotel?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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