Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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