my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
