Jerry, you need to find god
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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