high people should be assigned attendants
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
