what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
