What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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