So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
