Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
