TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize