I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
How's work?
Spinning.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
