your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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