Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
