I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
