Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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