You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
