um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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