I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
