okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
