I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
