Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
