just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
