I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
