I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
