was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
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Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
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I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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