ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
