Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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