I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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