The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
