Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
