I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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