i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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