I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
