'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
