C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
