I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
