Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
