ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize